It Matters To This One

by | Jun 4, 2015 | Growth, Healing

After my post on “Great Things”, I watched the movie Divergent. It has some themes similar to The Hunger Games: dystopian society, female super star who brings the hope of freedom from oppression. When I watched The Hunger Games and Divergent I wanted to be like the lead women. I wanted to have special abilities that made a difference. Then I would get sad because I realized I am not like them. I don’t have amazing strength of mind, I can’t shoot an arrow with precision, I can’t will myself out of situations. I would think I’m just a nobody who can’t do anything special. My daughter helped me see that isn’t the point. The point is these young women were just doing whatever they thought in the moment. They didn’t set out to free their people from the tyranny of their government, they just ended up doing it by taking whatever step seemed right to them in the moment.
I can look at these movies/read the books and think less of myself for not being as influential as the change-agent characters OR I can recognize that we are the heroine or hero of our own life. Rather than lose my energy and think negative thoughts, I can be energized. Back to my “it doesn’t take fame, recognition or financial reward to matter” theme. I have heard this from well known people. Unfortunately to hear it from someone like that it doesn’t carry much weight. “Easy for you to say but you don’t really know what it’s like to be a regular person.” So here, I am a regular person. I have 283 blog followers but only about 10 people even look at my blog each week (I know because I get info on how many people open it).  I wrote a book but I haven’t sold enough copies to pay for the editing of it…still in the red on that one and it came out three years ago. I have 130 likes on my Journey Forward Facebook page and about 60 followers on Twitter. I know people who are not trying to get exposure for a business who have more followers and loyal readers than I do! My point is not woe is me. My point is, I’m your average, normal person telling you that your life matters and you have the ability to make a difference in this world even if no one knows it.
I post on my blog once a week. Sometimes I think, “So few people are reading why bother” and then I remember that’s not why I write. I write because I believe I have been given helpful information that I want to pass along to anyone who wants to read it. If that’s just one person then I have succeeded. Have you heard the story about the starfish? The one where a boy comes upon a beach littered with thousands of starfish. He starts throwing starfish back in the ocean one by one. A man tells him it doesn’t matter. He can’t save all the starfish. And the boy replies, as he’s flinging a starfish back into the ocean, “It matters to this one.”
That could be the theme of our lives, “It matters to this one.” This person that I am showing kindness to or helping or cheering up or just sitting with while in pain. I learned from my daughter’s health crises how desperately we need each other to get through life. To really be with one another in our struggles. To allow a person to mourn and just sit with her. Not tell her she should be over it, or everything’s going to be ok, but to just be with her. To be a sounding board when someone seeks a listening ear. To give advice only when it’s asked for. To be extra hands when they are needed. Those are the steps we can take each day of our lives. Simple steps, helpful steps, steps that matter “to this one.”

Are You Worth A Million?

by | Mar 19, 2015 | Acceptance, Depression, Emotional Healing, Growth, Healing, Parent-wounds, Recovery, Relationships

My maternal great-grandfather, John Saxe Headley valued his children. So much so he wrote about them in an editorial for his newspaper, The Hutchinson Herald in Menno, SD back in the early 1900’s. He viewed each one of his nine children as a million dollars. He saw himself as a millionaire nine times over! His bank account didn’t reflect it, but his mind and heart did. I never knew my great-grandpa John but I have a feeling if I did I would have felt really good about myself after being with him.
Do you have people in your life who believe in you? People who see your value? When we don’t experience being valued simply because we exist it can really mess with us. Some follow unproductive paths, flailing from job to job never quite feeling enough. Some excel excessively trying to prove they are worth something but somehow never satisfying that emptiness inside. No amount of accolades or bank account balances seems to be enough. All are scattered around the continuum but few find themselves in the balanced spot in the middle.
One of the best methods I know that can help you heal in this area is a Process Group. It’s like group counseling but better. Through the careful facilitation of an effective coach/counselor/therapist, a Process Group gets deep at the heart of what’s holding you back and getting in the way of moving forward in your life. Wounds that feel like holes in your soul are filled and healed through the group members. Taking in the ingredients you didn’t get while growing up helps you live a healthier more satisfying life. You just might hear, “You’re worth a million!”