by currantdesignsllc | Jun 16, 2016 | Acceptance, Emotional Healing, Growth, Healing, Recovery, Self-Help
I heard a quote generally attributed to James A. Garfield from a friend recently, “The truth will set you free but first it will make you miserable.” Prior to my journey into my own emotional healing and understanding the lies I had been believing about myself and others, I would not have resonated with this at all. When we delve into the world of understanding and healing our reactions to situations and people, we go through a season when it is as though we are falling apart at the seams. In my journey, I learned my once useful coping strategies were unhealthy and I knew I didn’t really want to stay that way. At times I felt devastated. I can remember sitting in deep despair and wanting to quit. I was a mess!
I’m not finished with my healing process. I will be in this journey for as long as I am breathing and I know first hand it is worth it. At some point I turned a corner and had positive experiences of emotional health and connectedness. Seeing myself change and reaping the reward compelled me to keep moving forward. This doesn’t mean the journey is easy now. The dynamic nature of life and a commitment to growth are anything but boring and stagnant. I regularly encounter challenging situations that show me new areas where I can work on my skills. I get frustrated sometimes but in the end, I realize I am free and I will never go back to being a captive of lies!
by currantdesignsllc | Jun 9, 2016 | Acceptance, Growth, Processing Thoughts and Emotions, Relationships, Self-Help
I often hear from people who, after perusing Facebook, begin to feel down about themselves and the status of their lives. This is typically a result of seeing your friends in all their shiny glory. People often post the really awesome, fun, exciting, happy moments in their life. The Instagram or Facebook post is just a snapshot of a person’s life; it is not a representation of the whole picture. It is a glimpse of a moment. A moment that peeked within them the desire to let others in on it. It’s possible in the moments just before or just after the one moment you get to see, all hell was breaking loose. Perhaps the day started out with a low but somewhere in all the moments that make up a day, something that felt good happened and rather than share the low, the person chooses to share the good.
You know what I’m talking about because, if you are a Facebook user, you have done this and guess what? It’s OK. There’s nothing wrong with sharing these sweet glimpses of your life. Keep it all in perspective when you are the viewer of other’s posts. Every person on this planet has good moments and bad moments. Some may choose to only see the bad or on the flip side, only see the good. Both views are out of balance.
When you begin to slip into the Facebook Blues because everyone’s life seems so much better than yours, catch yourself. Say STOP! And remember the truth: no one’s life is all good or all bad. Although you may be feeling down at that moment because you are thinking that everyone else’s life is better than yours remind yourself that your emotion is following your thoughts. The emotion does not deserve to be in the front seat driving your life. In this space, notice the sadness or looming depression and remind yourself you have good and bad. All people have good and bad. The shiny isn’t all there is. Deep breath in, deep breath out…close out your Facebook session and go do something that makes you feel good (it must be healthy, wise and legal!) 🙂
by currantdesignsllc | Dec 15, 2015 | Depression, Emotional Healing, Growth, Healing, Processing Thoughts and Emotions, Recovery, Self-Help
For some the holidays bring excitement, fun and activities with loved ones. For others this can be a painful time of year. The reasons range from no social connections to loss. This post is for all, even if you don’t feel sad, so keep reading to the end 🙂
If you are one who finds the holidays painful, it’s important to understand why. Maybe it’s because you don’t have the money you wish you had to lavish your loved ones with gifts. You could be in a state of transition and your usual holiday activities have been interrupted. Perhaps you are alone and wish you had others with whom to enjoy the holidays. Maybe you lost a loved one. With all the reminders around you, sometimes it just feels too painful. Maybe you have loved ones and enough money but you just don’t “feel” the holidays like Cindy Lou Who in the more recent version of The Grinch.
So you know why you are feeling sad about the holidays, what can you do? Let yourself feel the sadness. Notice what it feels like in your body. Put your hand on a part of you where the emotion is palpable and just breathe. Allow yourself time to feel. You choose how long. It can be one minute, 15 minutes, an hour… When your time is up, think about any control you have over your situation. What can you do that is both healthy for you and legal? If you don’t have anyone to be with, find others who are alone: a homeless shelter, a nursing home…even a visit just to hang out with the animals at an animal shelter. If you don’t have any money to purchase gifts, get creative with existing items or acts of service gift certificates (cleaning, game night, extra hour before bedtime, animal or child care, playing at the park, massage…). Often the best gifts are the ones that can’t be bought…it’s true! Not feeling it this year? Create the spirit by offering acts of kindness everywhere you go.
After thinking through areas where you have some control take another deep breath. As you exhale commit to taking action and get moving. Eventually, the feelings will likely come back. Just go through this same process each time they do. By acknowledging what you are feeling, giving it space, then finding where you have some control, you are creating a healthy habit of processing emotion. The more you do it, the more likely you are to experience a decrease in the intensity and frequency of the emotion for that situation.
Now, for those of you who love the holidays and have nothing negative going on: love on those who aren’t as fortunate as you. Pass it on. Invite someone you know who is lonely or sad to join you in some aspect of your celebration. Give to those who are in need. Offer a smile and sometimes just a shoulder to cry on. Be gentle, patient and understanding.
If you are experiencing sadness that is out of control and you are thinking you might take your life, please get yourself to an emergency room or call 911. If you need someone to talk to you can call the National Suicide Hotline at 800-273-8255.
by currantdesignsllc | Jun 25, 2015 | Acceptance, Emotional Healing, Growth, Processing Thoughts and Emotions
I saw the new Pixar movie, Inside Out with my daughters the other day. They were by far the oldest children with their parents. At 23 and 22 it’s still fun to hang out with them! I thoroughly enjoyed the movie…ok there were a few moments where I thought it was dragging but they had to give us our money’s worth I suppose. So much of what I explain to my clients about the value of all of our emotions was right there on the big screen with color and animation rather than abstractly defined. The movie also clearly displays the importance of sadness in creating healing, connection with others and staying integrated internally.
I think I’ll add watching this movie to my homework assignments! 🙂
by currantdesignsllc | Jan 27, 2014 | Depression, Growth, Relationships, Self-Help
At times in our journey through life, it becomes increasingly more difficult to live in the present. We don’t know what is going to happen regarding our health, our finances, our children, or relationships. Much of life is out of our hands, so what do we do? Continue to live in the knowledge of this moment. No matter what is happening. Your boyfriend may be ending his interest in you, your daughter may be moving hundreds of miles away, your bank account may be draining rapidly without much hope of deposits, your job may be on a precarious ledge. We may react to these occurrences with fear or perhaps sadness, and that’s ok. Keep your focus on the emotion connected to the in-the-present situation. It’s sad when a loved one leaves or ends a relationship with us, it’s scary when we aren’t sure how things will work out for us.
Take a deep breath. Remind yourself that you can get through this. Talk to good, trusted friends about how you are feeling and ask to be held accountable to not creating stories about how your situation will end. Remember that rearview mirror? You have made it to today. You will make it through the next breath. That is your focus, this breath, this moment.
I’m feeling this right now. My daughter and I are heading back to North Carolina for a check-up. She is not doing well. She has lost 10-15 pounds since we returned home, she is lethargic and not feeling well. She has done what she can to let her transplant coordinator know of her situation without any concern from her. Maybe all is well. I do not know. I can only look at what I see, feel my fear, take a breath and let it go. We will have answers in about a week. I will deal with the answers when we get them. Until then: No stories, feel my fear for a moment then let it go as I take a long, slow deep breath. The God of the universe is in control, I can rest knowing that whatever the answers are, He will help me.