Detach From The Approval Of Others

Detach From The Approval Of Others

by | Oct 13, 2017 | Boundaries, co-dependency, Growth, Healing, Recovery, Relationships, Self-Help

If you want to be truly free, you must let go of any attachment you have to how others respond to you. What?! Yes! If you do things in order to receive accolades, approval or acceptance, you are setting yourself up for an unhealthy bondage. You will never please others all the time. Your opinions and theirs don’t always match up. Your execution might not be what someone out there was thinking it should be. If other’s approval is your goal, you are doomed.
I’m not saying just go about your life doing whatever the hell you want without regard for how you might be affecting people around you. That’s called selfishness and I am not talking about that. I am talking about the part inside of us that is crushed when we don’t get any likes on our Facebook post, the part that gets gloomy because no one noticed the trendy outfit we’re wearing or our manicured lawn.
Many of us are motivated to do something so others will notice and that is misplaced motivation. It’s extrinsic. Healthy motivation comes from within. Sure, it feels good when others give us a compliment but that cannot be our marker for our achievement.
Set goals for yourself because it will feel good to you to achieve them. Wear the outfit because you feel awesome in it. Care for your lawn because that’s how you like it. When you notice you are doing something for the stamp of approval from others, stop. Pause for a moment. Recognize what you are doing. Remind yourself you are putting your sense of accomplishment into the hands of others. That is a place it was never meant to be. Take it back.

Celebrate Your Steps in the Journey

by | May 22, 2014 | Acceptance, Boundaries, Depression, Emotional Healing, Growth, Healing, Recovery

Sometimes we just need a bit of encouragement to keep moving forward. That’s the plan for today. Think of where you were a year ago? What did your life look like then? How did you make decisions? What was your contentment level? Look at the different aspects of who you are and how you lived your life. Then, look at today. What’s different? Are you feeling more content? Do you make decisions with more clarity or confidence? Do you enjoy more moments in your life?
Take some time in the next few days to ponder these questions. Reflect. Write down what comes to your mind. Find an object, a picture, something tangible that is a reminder of the changes within. Everytime you look at it you can celebrate where you’ve been and where you are. The saying, “The journey is everything!” is true. We must celebrate the journey, not constantly keep our eyes on the big end “goal” or we may miss the most important part of life…living it!