Smalley Marriage Intensive


A Smalley Marriage Intensive is unique from couples’ counseling because it gives you the time to get into your issues, stay there and change the unhealthy relational patterns you have. The coaching format allows you the chance to show me what a typical argument looks like and I give you in-the-moment changes. Much like the experience you would have if you were an athlete who hired a coach to help you improve your game. I might have to help you undo years of ineffective habits, but the shift will be worth it! It’s hard to change, but if you don’t, chances are your marriage will continue to be unfulfilling, get worse and perhaps end in divorce. We often think we’ll be fine, we don’t need to change or we don’t want to invest in our relationship. Think about the greatest source of displeasure and frustration in your life. If your marriage isn’t first on the list, it’s likely to be close at times or you wouldn’t be reading about the Intensive. What is it worth to you to find enjoyment in your marriage? If you are serious about living your life to the full, about achieving your best in this life, call 800-975-8748 and let the scheduler know you read my website and want to schedule an Intensive with me. You can find out more at Smalley Institute.


A Smalley Marriage Intensive takes place privately in my office. The scheduling, intake interview and payment are all run through the Smalley Institute. Your Intensive length will be determined by your scheduler. Generally a one day Intensive from 9-5 with an hour lunch is sufficient for couples who want to start out on a solid foundation, before major issues begin or as a refresher for those who have been through an Intensive before. Two and three day intensives are for couples who are dealing with significant to severe issues.  If there’s infidelity, significant betrayal or well established unhealthy patterns, I recommend investing in a three day intensive. Active situations like: an affair, addictions or physical abuse are not appropriate for Intensives. The affair must end, the addictions and abuse must be dealt with through some form of rehab before you can be considered for an Intensive.

The basic structure of the Intensive starts with finding out what you want to accomplish. We move to understanding your models for love and how love was expressed in your formative years. Next, we look at the patterns you have developed and how they are affecting your ability to connect as a couple. You will learn the importance of taking responsibility for your own emotions, thoughts, attitudes and actions in addition to healthy skills for communication and ways of honoring one another even in difficult conversations. Using concrete examples from your own interactions, you will practice using the skills with my feedback. This helps you shift and change in the moment, increasing the likelihood of maintaining the changes when you leave. You get two additional hours either in person or via phone/video chat after the Intensive to address issues that come up down the road. If you want lasting change, this is the way to do it!